the Strangers

You know what I find scary … not knowing something - that’s scary. I mean let’s face it, I know a lot. (if you didn’t catch my sarcasm there, then you are dumber than I thought) Anyways I was a bit skeptical about the movie that I’m about to review. Though when your fiance’ accompanied by your soon to be brother-in-law and sister-in-law somewhat drag you to a movie, do you really have a choice? The Strangers was a movie that seemed somewhat stupid to me and even with it’s two main actors, I was even more skeptical. Boy was I wrong … probably one of the scariest films I’ve seen since the RING or the Descent.

the Incredible Hulk

Let me just say that I’m sorry that it has taken me this incredibly long to write a review. My apologies to everyone and I thank you for your patience.

With that - the green man is back - and is action packed! (in no way did I mean for that to rhyme…) Marvel seems to be on a roll right now with the movies as of late (maybe due to the fact that they are producing their own - with their new movie studio). They get off to a bang this year with Iron Man, they’ve had some past luck with Spiderman 1 … Spiderman 2 … X-Men 1 … X-Men 2 … and even the Fantastic 4 2nd film did alright … yet, must we forget all the mistakes along the way? I’m not going to go into a lot, but I’ll mention a few, Spiderman 3, Ghost Rider, Elektra, X-Men 3 and even the Hulk. Oh, but not the Incredible Hulk.

Indiana Jones IV

I honestly don’t know what to say. For the first time in my movie review history I’m quite baffled as to what to tell everyone about this film. Do I tell you all to see it? Do I tell you not to see it? Do I conform like so many critics that have seen this movie and that have written review after review that it’s an “ok film”…? Oh no, not this guy … you are going to get the brutal truth about Indiana Jones IV: Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

Legend

One would think that you couldn’t do better than Alien or Blade Runner … oh no, I was wrong. Ok, so what was Ridley Scott thinking? (for those of you who don’t know - he was the director of the 2 films I just mentioned - duh.) I thought that I had seen every good movie known to man … and I even thought that I had seen this movie when I was, oh I don’t know, 10 years old perhaps. Sadly, that doesn’t matter once I found out that it was a movie that Ridley Scott had made after … mind you … AFTER Alien and Blade Runner, wait I didn’t emphasize that enough … AFTER! I mean COME ON!!! If you haven’t caught on to my sarcasm yet, I really didn’t like this movie…16 years later. Ok enough is enough, Brandon - here is your review of Legend.

(THIS IS A REQUESTED REVIEW)

No Country For Old Men

What do you get when you mix in, violence, drama, good acting, and no music? What do you get when you have a strong plot rolling about 2 hours into a movie then all of a sudden you ruin it in a matter of 5 minutes? What exactly can’t you do with a compressed air gun apparatus? I don’t know for sure, but if you watch No Country For Old Men, I’m sure you can find out.

(THIS IS A REQUESTED REVIEW)

Iron Man

Yes yes, I know already … I am posting a new review … keep your pants on!
When a movie is titled “Iron Man” one would think that this mechanical suit that the main character is supposed to wear is made of iron … WRONG! It is in fact made up of a special alloy that I can’t even remember what they said in the movie that it was - but by god it won’t freeze up in space. Is this relevant to my review, not really - but it does bring something else to light. Does anyone need to know the story of Iron Man to be able to watch this film and be entertained … nope. It’s a rip roaring good time had by all - and I dare you to say otherwise. No really, if you think you have a more valid or better opinion than me, then by all means I challenge you to prove otherwise.

There Will Be Blood

“I…drink…your…milkshake, I DRINK IT UP!” What an amazing segment of the movie delivered from an amazing actor. Though, with an amazing performance and talent behind such a movie, you would think that the film itself would deliver on all accounts as well … not the case with There Will Be Blood.

Bee Movie

Where do I beegin …? Take a bee, toss in humans, the fact that bees can talk to humans, sue the human race, and fall in love with humans and you’ve got a recipe for one shitty movie. Yes I said it … this movie was shit. The beginning of this movie started off fairly simple and painless, then we see that Bees can drive cars. Not only do they drive cars, but they fly around after getting out of their car. Do you see where I’m going with this? Oh and if you didn’t catch what this review was about … it’s about Bee Movie.

(THIS IS A REQUESTED REVIEW)

Gone Baby Gone

Some of you have chimed in - “Lucas (aka PhoenixWave), you saucy beast … haven’t you seen the movie Gone Baby Gone?!” My response is yes, but at the time I hadn’t started my review blog and I had not remembered to write another fabulous review on such movie. So I apologize and without further ado - I give you … Gone Baby Gone.

(THIS IS A REQUESTED REVIEW)

Across the Universe

“So we sailed on to the sun, till we found a sea of green, and we lived beneath the waves, in our yellow submarine.” Yep, that song wasn’t used - but almost every other great Beatles song was used in the movie Across the Universe. The magical time that was the 60’s-70’s is brought to life through extraordinary music and vivid images that will open your eyes to a profound story of love. (yes I just made all that up - but damn it sounds good)

(THIS IS A REQUESTED REVIEW)

Horton Hears A Who

Yep, had to see it. Jim Carrey and Steve Carell - what could go wrong right? Well not much if you are in the age bracket of 5 to 12. Seriously I’ve surfed the world wide web and found almost every other review is a positive one about this film and said that parents and children alike would enjoy this movie. Honestly I don’t see it, but I do see how kids would get a kick out of it. Oh and if you didn’t guess by now - I’m talking about Horton Hears a Who … a beloved children’s book by Dr. Seus.

10,000 BC

I wonder, what do you think of - when you think of the years around 10,000 BC…? Funny, I bet none of us really think about that much, but honestly - what’s the first thing that pops into your mind for that era of our planet…? I’m sure you’ve thought about Egyptians and the Pyramids. Oh, and I’m sure that you’ve thought that everyone spoke today’s modern english in that time. Oh, and that everyone, (everyone being “cavemen”), all looked reasonable and didn’t have those oddly shaped heads that we’ve seen scientists dig up over and over again.

Definitely, Maybe

Right, so Valentine’s came and went, and do you know what I did - that’s right I took my lovely fiance’ to see a chic flic! BIG SURPRISE! We’re not going to delve into the rest of the evening but I’ll say that she did appreciate me taking her to see this film. Anyways, unless you were completely oblivious to what I’m referring to, we did in fact see Definitely, Maybe.

(THIS IS A REQUESTED REVIEW)

Fool’s Gold

Ok seriously, why would I go see this movie? It is obviously going to be a chic flic, it’s probably not going to be “deep” in any way what-so-ever … so why see this movie?! Because, I am a man who has given a girl the proverbial “rock” and that entitles me to go to whatever movie I must to keep her happy and content. If that movie happens to be Fool’s Gold, then so be it.

American Gangster

“There are two sides to the American dream.” That is the tagline of quite possibly one of the best movies dealing with gangsters/mob type characters since Godfater/Goodfellas. Not that there aren’t other good movies of the same genre out there, but honestly if you think anything is better than those 2 movies in that category then you might want to throw yourself off of a nearby cliff. With that said, American Gangster tells a story set in the 1970s of an American, yes that’s right … AMERICAN…not Italian or what have you of the cliche’ that is mobster/gangster, but an American Gangster Frank Lucas.

(THIS IS A REQUESTED REVIEW)

I Am Legend

Will Smith acting alone for almost 2 hrs. is something that might scare a few away from this movie. I shouldn’t say he acts alone, he has one helluva dog companion for a lot of that time. Either way, I Am Legend is a good popcorn action flic that keeps the audience glued to their seats with anticipation from the opening scene till the end of the movie. So hold on to your butts!

Cloverfield

This film has had the biggest opening in January ever. This film is definitely not what you would expect it to be. This film exceeded my expectations in every fashion and then some. The film is produced by JJ Abrams and directed by Matt Reeves. Now when we look at the director that would be something to shy away from - I mean come on, the guy directs the seasons of the show Felicity - and we are expected to go see a film that is supposed to be a thriller? No wonder people have their doubts about this movie.

Sweeney Todd

Ok, so I’ve been a big fan of most of Tim Burton’s stuff till this movie happened to cross my life’s path. Let me just say that I was completely unaware of what lay ahead when I stepped into the theatre that day. I convinced my fiance’ and a couple of good friends to accompany me on this viewing voyage … and then spent the better part of half an hour after the film apologizing for bringing them along.